Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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