I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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