She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
