it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
