it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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