just come out here and I will go home with you...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
