Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
