some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
