Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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