can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i will never coherently bang her
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
