community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The chlamydia really affected his face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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