is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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