why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
