You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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