Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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