I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
