Say something about gay babies.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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