Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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