Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
