The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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