He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
