Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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