The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
