I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
