Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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