Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
