Yo dont text me then not text me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
