I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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