i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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