marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
