I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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