As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
