WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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