You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
