on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
