I wish I only lived at night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sext me about skeletons
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
