i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize