I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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