I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
