Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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