Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
