I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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