vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
bring money and cleavage
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
