Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize