Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
