So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
