i don't like sucking hair
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize