Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
