Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
