We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
