Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
