I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
