actually, I'm a sock model
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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