normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
