those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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