Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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