1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
