So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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